


Running for your Heart

by Stitchdoll98



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Winter Soldier (Comics), captain america: the winter soldier - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bucky Barnes - Freeform, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Comfort, F/M, Fingering, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, French Kissing, Friendship, Hydra (Marvel), Kissing, Love, Make-out, Pre-Captain America: Winter Solider, Pre-HYDRA Reveal, Protective Bucky Barnes, S.H.I.E.L.D - Freeform, Sacrifice, Smut, Steamy Sex, Understanding, origin, phil coulson - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-14
Updated: 2015-02-14
Packaged: 2018-03-12 20:33:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3354371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stitchdoll98/pseuds/Stitchdoll98
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being a 19 year old SHIELD agent always attracted the enemies, they wanted to use you as leverage to bribe SHIELD. Running through the streets of Russia, you thought it was the same old case, same old bad guys. That was until you met him. The Winter Soldier.<br/> </p><p>(Pre-Story to I knew her. Summary has taken parts of the story)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Running for your Heart

‘Ugh!’ you held your shoulder as your body collided with the ground, pain throbbing through all your muscles after you jumped off the building to escape the people following you. It didn’t surprise you that they were chasing you, after all as a 19 year old S.H.I.E.L.D agent you did attract a lot of attention from enemies. 

Looking around you ran through the alleyway shaking off the pain as your feet pounded one in front of another to propel you forwards, faster and faster. Little did you know that someone was watching your every move from his vantage point in the distance.

One agent grabbed your arm and pulled you back, instantly you span around bringing your foot up to collide with their face. As they fell to the ground you ran left, down another alley and into a complex system of side streets, checking behind you, you saw that four more armed agents were getting ready to shoot at you.

‘Think (Y/N) Think!’ you thought to yourself then you spotted a rope holding up some scaffolding that was directly above your attackers. ‘Perfect!’ you ran over and pulled your dagger, once you had sliced the rope you forcefully kicked the bar once then twice. You didn’t look back as you ran but you heard the crash of the scaff-holding and the pained cries of the men below it.

‘Hahaha yeah!’ you grinned and fist pumped the air, only to have a rope tied around your arm. ‘Eh?’ spinning around to hit the man you found your fist collide with a much bigger and stronger one.

A tall, masked figure was looking down at you. Lifeless blue eyes, brown floppy hair and if his build was anything to go by he was really good looking underneath.  Being brought of your observations you realised that you had been caught but you were not going down without a fight, wriggling in his grasp you brought your knee up kicking him square in the balls.

‘AH!’ he grunted as he dropped you, you could tell by the shape of his eyes that he was scowling at you. Grinning triumphantly you kicked the mask off his face and threw it across the empty street, his eyes followed it then when they came back to you. You were already making a large gap between you and him.

You looked around, it was either woods or more complex streets. You voted woods and ran through the trees in the pitch black when you felt something quickly brush past your head.   A knife was embedded deeply into the tree next to you, spinning around you looked to see if you could see the attacker but the pitch black night didn’t let you see much.

Backing up slowly you looked around, slowly you increased your pace until you turned around to run forward. Right into the man who used to wear a mask, gasping you felt him put a cloth to your face that smelt like chloroform. Struggling you kept pulling your head away but he kept your face against the cloth, a metal hand tangled into the back of your hair.

‘Who…are…-‘ your vision went blurry and soon your world was black.

Once you were unconscious the winter soldier lifted you over his shoulder and carried you to the HYDRA base hidden deep within the forest. He was then instructed to dump you into a cell at the far end of the prison, he carelessly dropped you onto the ground.

The guard locked the cell once he walked out, at the end of the hall just before he left, Bucky stole a glance back at your form on the floor and wondered. Just wondered , how old you were because you were definitely younger than other targets. But he shook his head, he had to snap out of it because that was not his mission, his mission was to bring you here and now he had it was only time for another mission.

You grumbled and cried out at the pain in your side where he dropped you on the stones. ‘What…?’ you realised that you were no longer in the forest and were no longer anywhere you knew, bolting up you looked around. ‘No…no….’ you winced as you laid back down burying your head in your arms sobbing.

 

 

It had been a few days since Bucky had dragged you into the compound, you were giving up on fighting back as each time you did you were either knocked out again or forced to endure more torture.

In the past few days Bucky had learnt your name after listening to guards taunt you, he knew that you were 19. Often he watched you get strapped into the chair for torture or experimentations and he couldn’t help but admire how much you fought back. ‘Stupid kid’ he muttered every time you landed a strike on Dr, Whitehall or a guard because when you did, it only ensured that you suffered more.

Three weeks later, you were flopped in your cell with burn marks up your right leg and your clothes ripped up. The cold tiles gave your burn some relief but it was still causing immense pain, that was your punishment after fully knocking Whitehall unconscious after he injected you.

Bucky walked through the hall and stopped outside the door, he heard two voices which he learned to be Whitehall and another man.

‘She knocked me out’ Whitehall rubbed his previously bleeding nose as he spoke. ‘She could be a good asset but I don’t think the usual methods will make her comply. She has too much spirit for that’

‘Well what do you suggest we do with her?’ asked the other man.

‘Do what they did to him, keep wiping her memory and brainwash her. Indoctrination removes insubordination’ Whitehall noted then walked to the chair that Bucky had been strapped to too many times.

‘At sunrise then’ the other voice agreed. Looking around Bucky began to get thoughts of his own, a voice began speaking in his mind, it was telling him don’t let that happen. It was a voice that sounded like his, only younger and cockier. It wouldn’t shut up.

You had now sat up in your cell with your back rested against the wall, you looked at your bare feet and shut your eyes. Your head snapped up when your cell door swung open and the man who captured you stormed in ‘What the hell do you think-‘ a hand covered your mouth muffling your protests.

You looked up as you were freed from the chains that were holding you In that cell for 3 weeks. You looked over at the man who set you free, the same man that captured you. The Winter Soldier but he seemed different than when he had captured you, there seemed to be a soul behind the eyes.

‘Why are you helping me?’ you asked as he chucked your sword at you, the one you swore you saw be thrown into a vault. He looked around then he looked you over, inspecting you.

‘Are you hurt?’

You shook your head ‘No I’m not hurt’ you lied because the burn in your leg was still searing. You walked up next to him cautiously ‘But why are you helping me?’

He looked somewhat panicked ‘They are going to use the machine they used on me on you. I can’t let you be turned into this (Y/N)’

You stepped back ‘how do you know my name?’

‘From the file I was given to target you now hurry up before-‘ sirens began to whirr ‘Before that happens!’’

A metal hand grabbed your wrist and your eyes widened ‘You have a metal arm?!’ you asked as he dragged you through the compound.

‘Yes I do and don’t ask why Im not even sure myself okay!’ he growled as he pulled you down a corridor.

You looked around as you ran beside Bucky towards the exit of the HYDRA compound. You grabbed his shoulder pulling him back before you swished your sword taking down a guard that was hiding.

 

He nodded as a thank you gesture ‘C’mon this way ‘ he led you out into a courtyard ‘It’s over that wall and you’ll be free’

 

You stopped and looked at him ‘Why don’t you come with me….?’

 

‘I can’t you have a better chance on your own kid’ he looks at you

 

‘1) im not a kid and 2) they will keep doing this to you if you stay here!’ You screamed as a bullet clipped the flesh of your shoulder.

 

’(Y/N) he ran to you and got you back up running towards the wall. ‘Cmon get up and over!’

 

‘No not without you!’ you struggled against him as he lifted you up making you grip the wall with all he strength he had he lobbed you over. You had no idea why your mind was screaming for you to go back and help him, this man was the reason you were stuck in that cell in the first place. But something didn’t add up, one minute he was soulless and the next he’s risking his life to save you.

 

‘No!’ you thudded to the floor as you heard gun fire cease and a voice bellow through the morning fog.

‘WIPE HIM AND START OVER! HE WILL COMPLY!’ Whitehall ordered the guards who proceeded to lunge at the winter soldier.

 

Yelling of orders and gunfire mixed together, you wanted to get back over that wall and help him but your feet had better judgement than you did and they were already taking you in the opposite direction. Twigs snapped harshly below your feet as you raced through the woods, not daring to look back however you knew you were putting considerable space between you and the compound.

 

You had passed out somewhere in the woods after running for your life from the HYDRA. After being unconscious for what felt like the entire day you felt someone draping your arm over their shoulder as they helped you up. Whining slightly at the pain in your shoulder you opened your eyes slowly to find yourself looking directly into Bucky’s rich blue eyes.

 

‘Y..you..’ you uttered while staring at the Winter Soldier. ‘But they..i heard..’ you mumbled may incoherent things.

 

‘Shh and I will explain later, right now we need to get out of here and somewhere safe’

 

‘There’s a safe house In Moscow’ you looked at him.

 

Bucky looked at you slightly amazed ‘A safe house..arn’t you a bit young to be an agent?’ He looked you over, he just thought you were another leverage gain when he got you. It didn’t cross his mind that you would be an agent

 

‘I’m twenty in three days’ you corrected ‘not too young at all’ you winced as he helped you walk through the remainder of the woodlands.

 

‘We need to get away from here and get your wounds stitched up’ his head was looking around for a means of escape. Your pain caused you to be in a severely bad mood so your attitude rose incredibly.

 

‘Well thank you captain obvious’ you grumbled and he warningly squeezed your wound ‘Ow ow okay sheesh im sorry ‘

 

He nodded as he noticed an empty car in a small bar parking lot. You weren’t stealing you were borrowing the car from someone who will probably never ever get it back.

 

Believe it or not the winter soldier had no idea how to hotwire a car, luckily that was right up your alley.  You laid back on the footwell as you began to create sparks between the two wires, meanwhile Bucky looked at you curiously. You were different but he couldn’t quite figure out how as you were the first person from the outside world that he had spoken to.

 

‘Got it!’ you grinned as the engine started and you got into the passenger seat. ‘You drive’ you nodded to your shoulder ‘I cant exactly with this, oh tell me that you know how to drive, please say you do’ you winced.

 

‘I think I can’ he nodded as he got into the driver’s seat and put his hands on the wheel.

 

‘Oh you think...’ you looked at him sceptically as you buckled yourself in. ‘That’s real reasurrning’

‘Don’t make me press that wound again’ he warned you but somehow this one was more playful and you held your hands up.

‘Fine fine…’ you smiled slightly and sat back in the comfort of the chair, exhaustion took over as you fell into your first restful sleep in weeks.

 

Your eyes fluttered open once you felt the car come to a stop, turning in your seat slightly you see Bucky on the side of the road vomiting into the grass He had a memory of the vicious acts he had carried out on people previously, some of the gruesome methods made him lose his cool and also his lunch.

 

 Gathering your senses you got out of the car walking over to him ‘Hey..are you okay what happened?’

 

‘STAY BACK! I CAN KILL YOU!’ he held his metal arm out to you as a warning as he wiped his mouth with his shirt. ‘I I can kill you and anyone i want to…im a monster..’

 

‘But why are you vomiting….?’ You hesitantly walked towards him but you still kept an eye on where his metal arm was.

 

‘I just thought of how many…I’ve killed and don’t remember. My stomach churned and I threw up’ he stood up fully now, a good head height higher than you and it was then you noticed something glistening around his neck which wasn’t from his arm.

 

‘What is that..? you queried. He scowled and got back in the car without saying a word. Silently you dragged your feet back to the passenger side and got in, slightly jumping when he pulled away quickly.

 

The remainder of the car ride was silent bar you giving him a few directions to the house. After what seemed like an eternity he pulled up outside the apartment building in the centre of the city, the building blended well into the surrounding city therefore it caused no suspicion when you and Bucky ran up to the apartment itself.

 

Stumbling inside about to collapse from sheer exhaustion, you had remembered that Bucky had previously vomited. ‘There is toothpaste and a toothbrush in the bathroom to the left’ you received a quizzical look for this statement to which you replied ‘Look you vomited and you smell, I know you saved me and thank you but you look and smell like a bum so go change. There should be male clothes in the wardrobe of the room so I’ll look.’

 

Unsure of your sudden strong demeanour Bucky simply nodded and wandered off into the bathroom to rid his mouth of the horrific taste. He was slightly amused by your fiery spirit.

 

Meanwhile you went into your bedroom and rummaged around in the wardrobe for the male clothes, you found a shirt and trousers ‘Should be good enough for now’ you figured.

 

After his shower Bucky began to look for the toothpaste and had found a razor; looking at himself in the mirror he ran a hand over his coarse beard. He told himself he shaved for the purpose of staying hidden but in his heart he knew it was to please you.

 

Laying the clothes on the bed outside the bathroom you heard the lock on the door rattle so you rushed out the room to get into your own shower.

 

Ruffling his hair and running a hand across his now smooth face, Bucky looked at the clothes on the bed. It was a strange feeling having his face smooth and free of that wretched mask, he couldn’t breathe properly with it and it got very hot almost every mission he went on, then he began looking at the clothes.  Gently lifting them up with his metal hand he placed them on, to him they felt strange. He was so used to wearing the heavily padded gear as the Winter Solider that the clothes he wore now felt strangely light. Walking over to the door something flashed in the mirror, turning to see what it was his heart sank. The arm. The metal arm. The abomination attached to him. The thing that will make him deadly to anyone who stood in his way. Including you…. The metal arm that reminded him that no matter how much good he does, he will always be a murdering monster.

 

You walked out of your room with damp hair, you had decided to cut it shorter than it was because of the damage it had received whilst you was in the cells. You stopped when you noticed Bucky looking in the mirror then you noticed something on the dresser. Silently you lifted up the glistening object and read it ‘James Buchanan Barnes…’ and some numbers.

 

‘Get away from that!’ he yelled causing you to drop the army tags.

 

‘S-sorry..’ you stuttered, he had such a threatening stature and his voice shook the room.

 

He grabbed them off the floor and looked at you ‘Don’t ever touch these! Don’t ever ever!’ he scowled. Fearing he would take out his temper on you, you ran out of the room slamming the door as you ran into your own laying on the bed, scared out of your mind.

 

Bucky sat on the floor and brought his knees up to his chest, holding the tags in his real hand while he wrapped his metal one around his legs. Staring at the name on the tags his mouth naturally went ‘Bucky…my name is Bucky…’ he sighed dropping them again. Looking down he shut his eyes, he had not meant to frighten you but those tags were the only thing that he had of his own, well he thought he had of his own. It’s the only thought that kept him going.

 

You were sat on your bed cleaning your swords, you hadn’t dared to go back out that room since he shouted at you two hours ago. ‘ugh why..?’ you looked down at your rumbling stomach that had so kindly reminded you that you haven’t eaten in days.

 

In the next room Bucky was having the same thought as you so he cracked the door open to see if you had come out your room yet. He still felt guilty about scaring you and he was cautious because he didn’t know this world, all he knew was HYDRA, training, missions. He needed someone to help him through the world and knowing no one else would do it, you were his only chance at a normal life.

 

 As he cracked the door he saw you walk slowly into the living room, for what, he did not know. Spotting Bucky looking at you, you suddenly relaxed again and walked into the kitchen. You couldn’t be afraid of him…wait scratch that…you shouldn’t be afraid of him.

‘Hey…uh…?’ you turned around as you just realised that you had no idea what his name was. You were sharing an apartment with a man whose name you didn’t even know! Not that it was the most important detail, after all he was a super soldier assassin too.

 

‘What is your name anyway?’ you tilted your head looking at him. He was extremely handsome now he was clean and the caveman beard had been removed from his face, his jaw was strong and his blue eyes sparkled in the moonlight shining through the slatted blinds.

 

He remained standing in the doorway and looked at the apartment you now resided in, there was one sofa, a small table, books scattered everywhere and paper in the corner with pencils.

Fiddling with the tags that he was still holding between his fingers he looked at you then down at his hands at the tags ‘James…my name is James Buchanan Barnes…’ he looked back up at you hoping you would buy that it was his name because he wasn’t even sure himself.

 

‘James… that doesn’t really suit you y’know’ you said as you sat on the sofa and grabbed a pizza menu from the cabinet and a ‘safe’ phone that no one could track you down on. Yet it did not cross your mind to call SHIELD and tell them that you were safe, hell they didn’t even care that you had been captured so why bother? You were content here, no missions, no mortal peril…well not much mortal peril and you were in the company of a mysterious stranger whom captured you then released you.

 

‘uh…’ he sat on the armchair furthest away from you. ‘I think it’s my name at least…I can’t…i..’ he was struggling to finish his sentence as you put the phone down and slowly walked over to him. The realisation dawned on you, the machine he was babbling on about when he rescued you it must have been a brainwashing device. You had heard about their possible existence in a brief earlier that year.

 

‘You can’t remember…’ you crouched down in front of him. ‘That’s not your fault…’ noticing his fists clench you slowly slid your hand into his real one as an attempt at comforting him, this was a first for you.

 

 ‘Well…Buchanan…buck…buche…Bucky…Yeah Bucky, how about Bucky?’ you suggested

 

Pain-filled blue eyes looked up into yours but he did not flinch or tug away from your hand holding his and he slowly nodded ‘Yeah..Bucky.. .’ He kept a hold of your hand, it was like a child holding onto their favourite toy before going to school for the first time. He found comfort in your presence and your touch.

 

You smiled down at him and took the tags from his hand, slowly putting them around his neck. ‘Nice to meet you then Bucky’ you chuckled as you sat beside him, gently squeezing his hand.

 

‘You too (Y/N)’ he cracked the oh so smallest smile, but it was a smile nevertheless. Then both your stomachs grumbled in unison which caused you to burst out into a giggle fit that earned you confused looks from the man next to you.

 

‘Looks like we’re both hungry, luckily I was smart enough and ordered Pizza so it should be here soon’ you grinned.

 

‘Pizza?’ he tilted his head, he had never heard of this food. He had never heard of any food actually, he was just given food and he ate it. Never thought to ask, never needed to know and the door was knocked on.

 

‘That should be it’ you smiled and got up pulling your hand away from him as you bounded to the door. His heart sank slightly at you letting go of him.

Curiously he got up and looked the large square box that you was carrying into the kitchen, he tilted his head at it which was noticed by you.

 

‘What?’ you looked back at him from the kitchen ‘Are you serious you have never had pizza before?’

 

He nodded ‘Yeah, well as far as I can remember’ he rubbed the back of his head ‘I might have had it before I just don’t know’

 

‘Eh no need to worry about it, it’s here now so you can try it anyway’ sitting on the sofa next to him your brought around the box of pizza. Lifting the lid, the smell of hot gooey cheese, pepperoni and delicious tomato sauce wafted into his nose, he looked at it for a few seconds.

 

‘Bucky its not poison, cmon just try it’ you urged him  ‘Its nice but nothing compares to authentic New York pizza Buck’ you handed him a plate, which he accidently smashed with his metal hand. The look in his eyes was anger but not at you at himself, the look on his face told you he was mentally scolding himself for it.

 

‘Sorry (Y/N)’ he mumbled slightly as you handed him another plate.

 

‘It’s just a plate’ you reassured him as you sat down again. Taking a bite of Pizza he was uncertain about liking the taste but the look on your face was so hopeful and filled with joy that he decided he would like it, just.for.you.

 

‘Uh its great’ he nodded as he bit it again, it was a familiar taste for him and the more that he ate it the more that he liked it. You smiled watching him delve into the pizza as you munched on your own.

 

Once the food had been finished you dumped the box and plates in the kitchen then sat back down on the sofa, legs spread across it. ‘You going to sit down there all night?’ you questioned.

 

He nodded as he fiddled with his hands ‘Yeah, that a problem?’ he looked at you, in response you held your hands up and shook your head.

 

‘Not a problem, just a question’.

 

The rest of the night was spent in either comfortable silence or you trying to teach him small things about the world but you only taught him in small sections as he would easily get frustrated with himself and internally scold himself for it.

 

It was around midnight when you were awoken from a deep slumber, the nights in the cell made you appreciate the comfort provided by the bed. The noise that woke you up was the smashing of an ornament in the adjacent room.

 

‘No…..No….No….Steve…No….NO!’

 

You wandered into the room cautiously as you rubbed your eyes after being awoken from a deep sleep.

 

 ‘Hm? Bucky…hey….’ Suddenly you were awake due to your worry for him. He was thrashing about in his bed, the covers across the floor and his metal arm smashing the objects on the bedside table. The way he was acting you instantly knew that he was having a nightmare, which in this case was extreme because he was soaked in his own sweat and tears.

 

He thrashed about, knocking things over in his sleep, kicking out, kicking things over. Jumping out the way of the falling cabinet, you ended up on top of the thrashing soldier pinning his shoulders down. ‘Bucky wake up! Wake up Wake up Wake up’ you shook his shoulders, struggling to keep him down you kept all your body weight on him. ‘WAKE UP!’

He bolted up throwing you off the bed onto the floor and grabbed the gun from under his bed aiming it at your head.

 

The look in his eyes was soulless, the lights were on but no one was home but an assassin. A metal hand and normal one pinned either side of your head, his brown locks brushing against your face as a gun barrel pushes against your temple.

 

‘Who are you?!’ he demanded.

 

Your eyes widened as you realised, you were dead.

 

Thoughts ran through your mind as you tried to figure out a way to get yourself out of there, he was too strong for you that was obvious.  A sharp pain shot through your left arm as his metal hand tightened its grip as he pushed the barrel against your head harder.

 

‘WHO ARE YOU?’ he demanded again.

 

‘I’m (Y/N), we escaped a compound a few days ago and now we’re staying in the same apartment hiding out. You trust me and I trust you.’ You tried as best you could to convince him that he was on your side but it was to no use, he cocked the gun and your mind raced, you had to do something!

 

You slammed your lips against his, it was the only part of your body that wasn’t being crushed by him.

 

His eyes widened and he dropped his gun pulling away. ‘(Y/N!) what what…what happened why are we here on the floor why did you kiss me…?’ he looked down at you but kept you pinned underneath him.

 

You fumbled for words ‘Well you were dreaming and you threw me to the floor pinned me down and-‘ your eyes widened at a hand tracing down your side and then back up to stroke his thumb over your lips.

 

His eyes softened as he leaned down ‘just…let…me….try…..’ he hesitated as you slowly nodded your head.

 

‘I trust you…’ you uttered, his ice covered heart melted. A girl like you trusts a guy like him even after he held a gun to your head.

 

He placed a gentle kiss on your lips as a test, but he pulled away way too soon for your liking. You pulled him down against you as you kissed him again, this time he eased into the kiss and you felt him smile into it.

 

‘You really do trust me…’ he smiled as his human hand gently caressed your cheek and jawline, he leaned down and pressed his lips against yours once again.

 

You felt safe in his arms, for some reason, he didn’t seem like a threat to you anymore because of how vulnerable you have seen him. For the rest of the night it was little kisses and mainly cuddles talking about little things that were pretty much irrelevant.

 

 

A few days later, Bucky had gone for a short walk outside in the forest backing onto the house when an arrow was embedded into a tree next to his head and there was a note attached. He may have been able to speak English but he could only read Russian at this point.  His eyes scanned the small letter:

 

‘Вы не избежали нас, мы знаем, где именно вы находитесь. Вы сделали ужасную ошибку с помогая что девушка побег, и теперь вы будете сталкиваться с последствиями того, чтобы сделать трудный выбор, либо вы вернетесь к нам на работу охотно без боя. Или мы найти вас, сжечь этот дом, и мы получаем снимать свое драгоценное девушка. Это ваш выбор, и я уверен, что вы будете делать правильный. Вы должны 48 часов ответить, прежде чем отправить хит отряд, чтобы получить вас и девушка.

 

Уайтхолл

 

_You have not escaped us, we know exactly where you are. You made a terrible mistake with helping that girl escape and now you will face the consequences of having to make a difficult choice, either you come back to work for us willingly without any fighting. Or we find you , burn down that house and we get you to shoot your precious girl. It is your choice and i am sure you will make the right one. You have 48 hours to respond before we send a hit squad out to get you and the girl._

 

_Whitehall_

 

 

His face paled as he crumbled up the note, stuffing it into his pocket as he made a quick march for the house. All the time his brain was ticking as he decided between what to do, if he stayed then they would get him to kill you and if he left he was sure that they would kill you anyway so either way you got hurt.

 

Then a thought occurred to him, if they wanted him back that bad then he will only go back to them on one condition.

 

You were standing at the kitchen counter rummaging around in the cupboards for a glass to drink from when he got back, you smiled over at him  as you taunted ‘Well done for staying alive~ ‘. He said nothing, he just walked over to you with a deadly serious expression on his face.

 

‘Buck…?’ you questioned as he backed you up against the counter, he leaned down, capturing your lips with his.

 

He kissed you harder than he had before, he kissed you hungrier than he had before, and he kissed you more lovingly than he had ever done before. He kissed you a lot harder, his hands either side of your waist resting on the counter and his own body weight was keeping you pinned against him.

 

Not that you were complaining, your body had been aching for this for  a few days now, every time that he came out of the shower with just a towel around his waist and steam droplets dripping off his chest. It just made you want to reach out and touch but you knew that would really be pushing your luck with him.

He nibbled your bottom lip for permission, you decided to tease him with this and keep your mouth clamped shut. This earned you a low growl from the back of his throat and he reached his human hand around, he squeezed your ass and you squeaked. He grinned as invaded your mouth, his tongue flicking against yours teasingly.

 

Groaning, your hips moved up against his and he smirked against your lips. ‘Who knew you had it in you (Y/N)’ he chuckled.

 

‘Oh shut up’ you whacked his back playfully and smirked as he kissed you again. This time he brought both his hands to your ass and lifted you into the air, for fear of falling you placed your arms around his neck tightly which unintentionally deepened the kiss.

 

 Bucky groaned into the kiss as he walked you back to the room, naturally he bumped you into a few things on the way because he couldn’t see where he was going as he was too preoccupied with fighting his tongue with yours for ownership of your mouth.

 

You were not giving up without a fight and you kept your lips intertwined with his when he laid you back on the bed, you could tell your reluctance to back down was getting to the poor soldier as his grunts soon turned into annoyed growls and sometimes whines.

 

He growled into the kiss once more as he slid his metal hand down your body, while his human one slid into your shorts and stroked you lightly.

 

‘A-a-h!’ you gasped at the sudden contact which allowed him to take over your mouth and you groaned ‘You asshole’. He smirked as he did it again, he loved the noise that you made when he did so.

 

‘Bucky-ah!’ you arched your back slightly when he began to attack your neck with kisses and once he found that spot that made you squirm and he attacked it repeatedly. Then he slid his hand into your already soaked panties.

 

‘Well (y/n) you don’t need to tell me anymore’ he chuckled against your neck and licked the newly formed hickey, causing you to shudder and moan beneath him.

 

‘B-Bucky’ you whined as he stroked you again, this time more forcefully which sent a pulse of pleasure shooting up your spine.

 

‘Yes?’ he grinned as he nipped the sensitive bruise on your neck. He had pulled off your shirt and shorts tossing them anywhere in the room and you tugged off his jeans and dark grey shirt.

 

 You were so occupied with him attacking your neck that it was a shock when he slid his finger into you, curling it slightly. You let out a loud moan and arched your back.

 

‘Hnn…you-you’ you groaned mid-sentence as he added another digit. Your face flushed red as he pumped them in and out of you. He looked down at you, your chest was slightly flushed red and so was your entire face.

 

Your eyes were shut from the pleasure he was giving you and he loved the control he had over you, the way that any small movement could send you into fits of pleasure.  He pulled his fingers out of you and admired every inch of you.

 

You reached a hand up and pulled him down into a kiss as you mumbled against his lips ‘Don’t stop…’

 

‘I won’t…but this will be ten times better. I love you (Y/N)…’ his thumb gently brushed over your cheek, the emotion in his eyes were unclear. It was love, anxiety, panic and admiration. It was a mixture of every emotion you have ever seen.

 

‘I love you too Bucky….forever and always…’ you leaned up and gently kissed him again. He kissed back as he pulled down his boxers, languidly stroking his hard on.

 

‘I love you….i love you….’ He repeated into the kiss as he lined with you and gently eased in. Tears pricked the corner of your eyes as he broke your wall and he gently held your hands as he kissed away your tears whilst whispering sweet nothings into your ear.

 

After a few moments the pain had passed and you moved your hips up into his ‘Move…please baby…’ you kissed him.

 

‘Are you sure?’ he groaned as you ground your hips up into his again and that was all the confirmation he needed. Gradually he picked up the pace, kissing everywhere that he could reach as he pounded into you.

 

‘So tight’ he groaned as he kissed across your collar bone and placed both hands on the headboard behind you.

 

Your body pushed up against his as he thrusted into you faster, your hands reached up to claw at his back and your legs tangled with his. Your moans echoed with his through the room and the sound of skin slapping against skin added to the intense pleasure you felt.

 

‘(Y/N)’ he groaned as he held onto the headboard and bucked up, that was when you felt it, that coil begin to build in your abdomen.

 

‘Bucky i-im close’ you whined as you pushed your body against his.

 

‘Then do it’ he commanded as he slid his real hand between your legs and began to rub your clit. ‘O-OH!’ you cried out as he did so and the coil tightened.

 

‘Cum for me (Y/N)’ he groaned as his thrusts became erratic as he neared his release. He pushed his thumb down onto your clit as he thrusted deeper and that was it, you saw stars as you reached your climax and waves of pleasure enveloped you.

 

‘(Y/N)’ he gasped as he thrusted up again as he released his load into you.

 

Your body was still recovering from your climax but you whined at the empty feeling you got when he pulled out of you.

 

‘I love you…’ you murmured as you gently kissed him again then you heard creaking above you. Tiredly you turned your head and chuckled to see that when he reached his climax his metal arm had snapped the headboard in two.

 

‘I love you too…’ he gently nuzzled your neck as you curled up against him smiling tiredly. You nuzzled into your chest and instantly fell asleep, but he stayed awake, admiring every last inch of you. He gently stroked through your hair before he pulled the covers over the two of you.

 

 

 

Whilst you were sound asleep on your front in the bed, Bucky pulled on all his clothes . Not the normal ones but his Winter Soldier uniform, his heart shattered as he picked up the gun taking one last glance back at you in the bed. He leant over you kissing your forehead gently and whispered

 

‘Goodbye (Y/N)..’

 

You sat up at the sound of a window opening and shutting, sleepily you looked around you rubbing your eyes you noticed the mess you made with him earlier but also the fact that he wasn’t there.

 

‘Buck…?’ Getting up you searched the apartment for any signs of him then figuring that he had probably gone to get more ‘supplies’ you went back to bed.

 

That was when you noticed his gun was gone off the bedside table, his boots were no longer by the door and his winter soldier uniform was missing from the wardrobe. Then you saw that there was a letter with something inside it, getting up you reached out and opened it. It was the letter that Whitehall had sent to Bucky and there was a small note scribbled on it in Russian.

 

‘I Love you with all my heart (Y/N), I did this for you….you will always be in my heart. Take my tags, so you will never forget me…

 

Bucky’

 

‘Oh..no…’ you put two hands over your face as you fell to your knees beside the bed. ‘No..’ you cried into the duvet that had been thrown onto the floor. You held the tags to your chest as you curled into a ball sobbing.

 

Once he had reached the base he was led into a small white room.

 

He stood there obediently as Pierce walked over to him with Dr Whitehall. Scowling slightly, Bucky looked at them as they sat down. Pierce began ‘You are willing to do this then? Even after you ran from us?’

 

Bucky simply nodded ‘If you keep your part of the deal….you will never harm (Y/N) and never ever get me to harm her….’

 

A wicked grin graced Pierce’s face as he looked at Whitehall ‘Prep him’.

As he was being strapped into the chair all he could think of was your face, to calm himself down he imagined the way your hair complimented your eyes, the way your smile brightened his day and made his heart flutter. The way that …he would never get to see you again….

A single tear drop rolled down his cheek as the pain of the machine seared through his mind, though it was not the machine that made him cry. It was losing you, but knowing that he was keeping you safe made it worth it in his mind.

The next day you found the panic button to call SHIELD and within an hour Agent Coulson had found you, as you flew back to the US with him he noticed you fiddling with the tags around your neck.

 

‘You have been so distant since I picked you up (Y/N) are you alright…?’ he frowned.

 

You nodded and looked out the window ‘Yeah I just…. Had a date..’


End file.
